Friday, January 27, 2012

All the way to the top

Sadly, my father-in-law passed away last Saturday, January 21st, at the end of a fairly short, but nonetheless difficult bout with cancer.

By the time anyone was aware of the diagnosis, it was already so far along that there was no stopping it.  Fortunately he was well into his seventies, having fathered eight children, and was proud papa of around thirty grand and great grandchildren.

He had the opportunity to live a full life.  There is some peace in that.


Today, I saw something that touched me in a way that I never imagined.  Something that fills me with such love, and respect for my husband... in a way I... I dunno... I can't even articulate the depth that comes from watching your husband bury his father... literally.

He literally took a shovel, and carefully, and respectfully, with so much honor, and love... he gently covered his fathers remains with dirt... all the way... to the top... And then he replaced the sod chunk and filled the edges in.

The body'd been cremated, so it was only a small box, buried a few feet down, but the surprise on the undertakers face was obvious.  He even said to Mister, "You don't do all of it... just a scoop."

There was only a few of us who stayed after the short service, to participate in the burial.  And the ones who stayed each took a scoop of their own... but Mister had a special relationship with his father, and it was painfully evident today, with each reverently placed shovel full of earth.

All the way to the top... hot tears streaming down his face...

It breaks a mom's heart to see such anguish, and not be able to take it away.

I'm not HIS mom, but I am A mom by nature... a nurturer... I fix things, and kiss away tears...

Not this time.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

There was a short service in the cemetery's mausoleum, during which, the family friend/reverend asked if anyone had anything to say.

I thought about standing up a few times, but no one else did, and given that my in-laws have never been crazy about me, I didn't want to do anything to make myself the center of gossip or scorn later on.

It was their day of grief, and I didn't want to make it, in any way, about myself... so I sat in silence.

Here, however, I get to say whatever I want to... so... this is what I wanted to say...


I didn't know Mister Sr. very well.  But here's what I do know about him...

He was the best man in my wedding.

Of all the men that Mister has ever known in his life...  the man he loved, and respected so much as to ask him to stand up with him, at his wedding... was Mister Sr. 

I know that Mister is, hands down, the best, most attentive father I've EVER known.

I know that Mister is, without a doubt, the best, most honorable, respectable, decent, kind, wonderful man I've ever met in my life.

Best.  Husband.  Ever.

That doesn't happen without a reason.

So, thank you, Mister Sr. ...

Thank you for being who you were... and creating the best thing that ever happened to me.  From the deepest depths of my soul, I am endlessly grateful to you, and pray that you've found peace.


  1. I love you! I love your heart and its apparent through your writings that mister has not only a special heart as well but you two were made for one another. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

  2. I love you and your mister more and more each day. I send love and wish I was next to you. Yunno, to wipe you tears and snot and to make fart jokes.
    Because that's what I would do.